Friday, January 3, 2014

How can I toughen up in life?



Photo courtesy of: Life on Mars Blog

How can I toughen up and not be so sensitive? 

My teacher told me that I need to toughen up and get thick skin... but I don't know how... I've never been tough. I've always been sensitive. I've always been a soft person. I don't know how to change.... I don't have thick skin... what do I do???? 
My Answer:
 It sounds like you have yet to tune into your defensive guarded side. I was just like you at one time in my life. I think your teacher meant well when they told you that you need to toughen up and grow some thick skin. I know that this sounds cliche' but life will present you some difficult folks who will only act like they care about you. I experienced times where people would try to take advantage of my kindness, because they would mistake it for weakness. I would say that you should consider preparing yourself to deal with the tough situations that may come up in the future. They will come up, so it's important to "desensitize" yourself early on. Start with the little things. If someone says something mean about you, then act like it doesn't matter about what they said. Act like you didn't even hear them. Eventually when you gravitate towards bigger obstacles, you will find that having tough skin feels quite great, but you have to also remember to balance it with showing your sensitive side too. When you learn the art of having tough skin, then it becomes rewarding to show your sensitive side because you can defend yourself if you need to.


Friday, December 27, 2013

Cheating Boyfriend


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Need a guys perspective : Did my bf cheat? HELP? 

So I have no proof but just my gut. Because a yr ago we were going through a VERY rough patch we just had our baby and suddenly he was hanging out with a lot of people who drank did drugs. I would find text from a girl (girl #1) asking for a cigarette and when I saw her she acted really strange and didn't say hi to me. He said nothing ever happened. Then there was another girl (girl #2) he would get "stuff" from to smoke but he said that was it. But on New Years he talked about her for hours while he was drunk. Saying how sorry he felt for her even though he would leave me alone all day and night going straight from work to his friends. Alone to do everything by myself. He never felt sorry for me.

Months I meet him at a public place and girl #1 is there, literally tailing his a$$ following him everywhere then say "oh hi! didn't see you there how have you been?!" and he doesn't tell her to leave him alone or nothing.

Months later I see girl #2 "happening" to walk her dog by our house she lives in our neighborhood. But is that a coincidence?

my gut tells me something went on but I have no real proof. what do you think?

My Answer:

You said the key words. "I can feel it in my gut." That's is woman's intuition. It's there to guide us to let us know the things that we may be afraid to admit is going on. Anytime that another woman who is talking to your boyfriend gets around you and she will not even say "Hello" to you it's because she doesn't care to be your friend. Why doesn't she care to be your friend when it involves your man? Because more than likely she is fooling around with your man. The only reason why a woman feels uncomfortable around her "male friends" girlfriend is because she probably has an ulterior motive. It's a dead giveaway when she won't even look you in the eye either. People who lie have trouble looking other people in the eye, or either they are uncomfortable or it could be both. And it saddens me at how your own boyfriend didn't tell those girls to get away from him. Any man that respected and cared about you and your feelings would shoo away these women that he isn't involved with, and tell them that he is taken but the fact that he doesn't seem to mind tells me that he is walking around with a single mentality. You probably need to cut him off right now. The true test of seeing whether he even cares about you, are three things. Whether he respects you in your presence, whether he respects you when you're not around, and whether he respects you when you and other people are around in the same place. If he is acting this way towards you, then I can't imagine what kind of father he will probably be to your little one. Good luck to you.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Peer Pressure to Drink Alcohol


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My friends are pressuring me to drink?

When I was 12, my sister was in the car, when her friend was drunk and driving (my sister was about 17). No one was dead, thankfully. However, this really scarred my whole family as whole. My sister was badly injured and still visits the hospital. It's been four years now and I'm sixteen. I was at a party and people were pressuring me to take a few shots. I refused, but now people are being a ***** to me at school. I'm afraid of alcohol, and this is just really annoying, Should I tell them what happened to my family? I don't really feel comfortable about it, but...  


My Answer: 

There are three ways that you can look at this. Peer pressure is a difficult thing to deal with especially as a teenager, and it can sometimes influence your adult life if you are not careful. So you've got two options. First you can simply tell the people who are being jerks to you at your school that you just do not want to drink. In other words, "It's my decision, and I'm sticking with it." Or you can choose the second option. You can tell them that due to your family history, you choose not to touch a drop of alcohol ever in your life. Or you can tell them that you choose not to drink because you don't like it, and because it's had a bad effect on your family too. 

Also, these people that are giving you the cold shoulder because you won't do something that goes against your beliefs are not worth your time. Be angry at them, and be upset but then after those emotions subside start numbing yourself to whatever they say and do to you. You will look back one day a couple of years form now and be glad that you refused to cave into them pressuring you to do something that you know will ruin your life.